You shouldn't change who you are to make someone else happy, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't change to make yourself happier. Why is it that your mom feels you need to have more friends? Does she think you seem lonely? Is she worried that you might be unhappy? You might want to ask yourself why it is that you prefer to be alone. You mention depending on other people. Were you let down in a big way by someone close to you? Would you like to have more friends, but are not sure how to go about it, or are you scared of not being accepted? These are all normal concerns.

Obviously, there are many ways to go about socializing more — you could join a club or a team, try to study with other people for tests or class projects, or even get involved with activities outside of school. If the prospect of doing any of this is too scary, you could look into seeing a counselor to talk over why you get nervous being around other people. School counselors and counselors at teen centers deal with this issue constantly — trouble with, or fear of, making friends is one of the most common problems teens have. Talking to someone about it could really help you — and could even help change your mind about socializing more.

Now for your mom. It sounds like she's just concerned for you, but is maybe being a little too pushy about it. Let her know that you appreciate her caring about your happiness, and assure her that you are not miserable (if you aren't). Explain to her that you are not an outgoing person, if that's the case, and may never be as outgoing and friendly as she might be, or want you to be. But tell her that you'll take a look at your life and decide if you want more friends, and if you do, then you'll ask her for any help you may need in accomplishing your goals.

—Kate Forest, MSW