It upsets me that my dad smokes pot. I don't know if I should talk to him about it or what. He and my mom are divorced and if I tell my mom that my dad is smoking, she won't let me see him. I don't want that to happen!
— Anonymous
You're in a tough situation. It's totally understandable that you don't want to get into a situation where you pit one parent against the other, especially if you'll suffer the consequences. But if your dad does drugs or drinks alcohol and then gets into a car to drive you somewhere, or gets high when you visit and then is unable to ensure your safety, then it's really important to tell someone about it — if not your mom, then another trusted adult. Your dad's job is to care for you when you're with him. He is responsible for your well-being, and his drug use may impair his ability to care for you properly. You need to let someone know about the situation.
The other person you should to talk to is your dad. Let him know how his drug use makes you feel. Tell him you love him but are concerned about his health and safety, as well as your own when you are with him. Offer to attend a few counseling sessions with him. A lot of people who seek help for drugs or alcohol go with a family member who encouraged them. But don't feel like it's your responsibility to make sure he stops using drugs. He's an adult who must make this decision for himself. But to have your love and support would be a great deal of help to him during the process.
— Kate Forest, MSW
Need answers about your body? Write us at Ask Anything. And get your guy friends to write in, too. Give
us your first name and age, but don't worry, we don't need to know your last name. All letters
become property of YM.com and may be reused in other media.
