Kudos to you for getting past your initial reaction and wanting to stay friends. It was not an easy thing for her to admit to you, and I am sure you felt uneasy hearing it. There is a lot of stigma attached to people who are gay or bisexual, and people, especially teens, can be cruel to those who are different. I also applaud your approach to dealing with her inappropriate comments. If anyone — boy, girl, straight, gay, lesbian, whoever! — ever says something that makes you uncomfortable, you should say so. Standing your ground and letting others know that you are upset by what they say lets them know what your limits are.

However, none of this praise helps the situation with your friend. She was probably so relieved about you deciding to stay friends with her that she hasn't yet figured out the limits of what's okay for her to talk about. You mentioned that you were scared by what she says. Are her sexual jokes about you? Is she suggesting, even in a kidding way, that the two of you enter into a sexual relationship? If this is the case, then continue to let her know you'd like to be friends with her, but are uncomfortable with her suggestions. If she can't stop, maybe you two need some time apart, because a friend should learn to respect your feelings. Or is it that she's making jokes about other girls she's attracted to? Some people talk to their friends openly about sex and sexual activities, which might be your friend's style. If you aren't comfortable with frank sexual talk, then remind your friend that you don't talk about boys that way, and ask her to please not be so graphic. It sounds like you two are close. By communicating with each other, and respecting each other's differences, your friendship can become even stronger.

— Kate Forest, MSW