That is amazing that you had the strength and courage to end a relationship with this guy, who sounds very controlling and abusive. You should be extremely proud of yourself. It must have been very hard for you to do that, but as you said, you need to live your own life, not what someone else wants for you. No one has the right to tell you who to be friends with, what to wear, whether you can have friends of the opposite sex, or anything else.

As for being friends with him, well, we have a question for you. Is he a good friend to you? Is a good friend someone who makes you feel badly about who you are? Who makes you feel guilty when you talk to other guys? Who tells you who you can and can't hang out with? Probably not, right? If one of your female friends tried to pull that, you'd probably think she'd fully lost her mind.

Your ex's behavior is actually not protective. It's abusive, and it's not okay. Protective is when someone cares for you and wants you to be happy. Like when it's raining and a guy gives you his jacket so you can stay warm and dry — that's protective. Protective is not acting jealous, stopping you from having fun, or telling you what to wear. Unless your ex gets the professional help he needs to get a handle on his problems, it doesn't sound like this is someone worthy of your time.

Dating violence is a serious issue. Many girls feel isolated if they are dating someone who is verbally, emotionally, or sexually abusive, which makes it hard for them to get help. If you feel unhappy with your relationship but don't know how to get out of it, talk to a parent or school guidance counselor. Or you can contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline. They have a toll-free Teen Line at (800) 852-8336.

—Andrea Pyros