I found out that one of my really close friends just had sex. The other ones have done things with their boyfriends, too. When I heard, I was in shock and then I got really scared that my boyfriend might want to try it, too.
The next morning I talked to him about it, and he said he wants to make out with me but everything else is up to me. I told him that I don't want to do the other stuff. For some reason I think it's completely gross, and I can't even imagine ever letting him do any of it! I don't know if maybe I'm just really self-conscious or what, but I really want to stop worrying about it and get it off of my mind. How can I not care about what my other friends have done?
—Lindsay, 15, Charlevoix, MI
First things first, let us congratulate you on being upfront and open with your boyfriend. You worked up your nerve and talked to him about sex, which is not always an easy topic to discuss. You let him know where you stand, and what you are comfortable doing and not doing. Whew! That is impressive. And it sounds as if he respects your feelings, which means you have a cool guy in your life.
As for your friends, it's reasonable that you are curious as to what they're up to. It's only natural to compare where you are in your life with them. In the same way you might ask them what grade they got on a test or what time their parents set their curfew, you want to know what they're doing with their significant others. That doesn't mean that you need to do what they're doing, though! You need to set your own pace, which you already are. What other people do is up to them, and what you do is your business.
—Andrea Pyros
Are your friends sick of your guy problems? We're not! Write to Heart to Heart via e-mail. Please include your first name, age, birthday, city, and
state. YM.com cannot reply individually to questions.
All Letters become the property of ym.com and may be reused in any other media.
|
