It is very tricky when two friends like the same guy, and unfortunately, your friend's feelings will probably be hurt. Imagine yourself in her place: You really like this guy, and your friend not only gets all of his attention, but also wants to be alone with him. Not only do you lose out on the guy, but you also lose out on time with your friend. Before anything goes further between you and this guy, talk with your friend. Explain that you both like this guy, but he seems to be paying more attention to you. Ask her if it would bother her if you ended up dating this boy. Be prepared for her to say it would upset her or make her angry. Then you'll need to decide what to do. If you pursue a relationship with the guy, you risk hurting your friendship. If you don't date the guy, you risk feeling resentful of your friend. Ultimately, you will need to make a choice and prioritize the relationships in your life, which is not easy!

Whatever you decide to do, try to be sensitive to your friend's feelings. Put yourself in her place, and ask yourself how you'd want your friend to act if she were in your position. Would you want her to forget the guy if he liked her instead of you? Would you want to be included in plans she made with him? The key here could also be competition. Do you and your friend often compete against each other, or is this the first time? If it's not the first time, maybe that's the underlying issue you need to address. A little healthy competition is great, but maybe you both need to set some ground rules for yourselves — for example, that you'll back off if the other one has a crush, and not go for the same guy. (Remember there are plenty of crushable guys out there!) Hopefully you and your friend can come to some agreement that maintains your friendship, while supporting each other in pursuing romantic relationships, too.

— Kate Forest, MSW