Saturday July 19, 2008 ym.com > private life > heart to heart > which guy should I choose?
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I am jealous and feel left out when my friends get boyfriends.
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Which Guy Should I Choose?
I have a problem. When I tell you what it is you're going to be like, gee, some problem. Anyway, at the moment I'm single (no, that's not the problem. I actually enjoy being single! It's fun and I get to flirt all I want with whomever I want.). Okay, here's the problem:
There are three guys who like me and I don't know what to do! I mean, how do I know which one to pick? How can I tell if they are serious or not? I recently got out of a serious six-month relationship. I am actually doing really well with that whole situation; it is just that I don't know what to do about these guys. I am not the type of girl who needs a guy to be happy, but I do want to be in a relationship and actually have one that lasts. How can I do that? I am so confused and don't know what to do.

—Anonymous

You're right, we are like, gee, rough life! Just joking. Sure, you could have worse problems, but we understand your dilemma. Doesn't it seem like the more choices we have, the more complicated our lives are? Like, if one guy was into you, you'd consider his personality and his looks; you'd watch how he treated you, made sure he was nice to other people, find out if he had a bad reputation, and then you'd decide whether you wanted to go out with him or not. Suddenly with three it seems about a billion times more confusing, but it doesn't have to be.

Don't think about your situation like you're deciding between these dudes — after all, you may realize none of them are for you — and evaluate each one on his own merits. Pretend you're the latest "Bachelorette" (without the stupid hot tub!) and spend some time with each of them. Keep things on a friends-only level for a little while, and get to know them beyond just surface stuff. After all, being friends first is a great way to start off a relationship. This way you'll be sure you're not leading any of them on, and you won't feel like you're being dishonest.

Ultimately, though, you really won't be able to tell whether a guy is the right one for you until you have been dating for a little while. Love is always a bit of a risk, someone might seem one way and turn out to be totally different, or what attracted you to someone may turn out to be kind of annoying in the long run. All we can really suggest is that you deserve to be with someone who is nice, smart, funny, caring and who treats you well. Maybe it's one of these guys, or maybe it's not. But you shouldn't settle for any less. Good luck!

—Andrea Pyros



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