This guy and I talk, like, all the time, and at school, he really flirts with me and people are constantly asking if we're going out and stuff. He's always jokingly saying, 'Oh, yeah, you're my girlfriend,' and everything. Then recently he just confessed to me that he has a crush on me but he doesn't want a relationship. I don't know if I should back off or what. I'm really confused. Help!
—Anonymous
That is confusing, because to you, if you like someone, and get along well, and have fun hanging out, and are attracted to each other, and aren't committed to anyone else, why wouldn't you start dating and see what happens? Sadly, this guy sounds like he just doesn't feel the same way about dating as you do.
To his credit, instead of pretending he's into being a boyfriend and then treating you shabbily or messing with your head, your crush was at least upfront and honest with you. He told you he likes you, which took guts, and since he probably knows you well enough to see that you're interested in more than just a brief fling, he's 'fessed up to the fact that he's not ready for that. Even though it's a bummer and you have every right to be disappointed, (and also to ask your friends 'What is wrong with him? Does he not realize how much fun we'd have as a couple? What an idiot.') it does sound like your crush handled things a lot better than some people would. Now what? You can continue flirting with him and being friendly, unless it bums you out too much, or stops you from checking out other awesome guys who may be more emotionally mature and ready to be part of a couple.
—Andrea Pyros
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