Don't worry, we all have bouts of insecurity like this. It doesn't mean anything is wrong with you. The good news is that you're not in the same league as our friend Bob (name changed to protect the guilty!). He is a great guy — extremely nice, smart, and seriously amazing-looking — but has tons of trouble in the love department. Whenever he starts dating a girl, he comes on super strong, calling all the time, freaking out when she doesn't call him back, asking her what their "status" is, and more. Soon, girls that once were really into him are avoiding him and saying they just want to be friends. What's up? Bob is so insecure that he can't relax and trust that these women might want to be with him, and it shows. Not so fun for the other person, or Bob for that matter.

So, okay, why do we all have freak-outs like this? Because love can make us feel totally vulnerable, and completely focused on another person. This can be exciting — it's certainly more enjoyable than studying for chemistry or helping your parents clean the garage — but it can also send us off balance and make us act nutty. The reality is, you don't ever completely know where you stand (unless you've been together forever) and there isn't much you can do about it (except wig out to our friends). You just have to wait to see how your relationship will evolve. What you need to do at these "Why isn't he calling me?" moments of intensity is take a deep breath and try to maintain some perspective. Is your boyfriend attentive most of the time? Do you have some reason to suspect he's about to break up with you? Also, don't assume that not replying to your IM is a sign. Maybe your guy was in a rush, or maybe he's not a morning person.

Keep in mind that you're obviously an interesting, attractive person that your boyfriend wants to be with. Then, when the urge strikes to stalk (oops, we mean call or IM him), take your mind off of him if you can. Call a friend, finish your homework, clean your room, go work out. Focus on your other interests for a while. (And if you don't have any, get some pronto!) It might not completely stop you from worrying, but at least you'll be productive. Then when he finally does get back to you, you can send off an "Oh, you? I forgot all about you" vibe, instead of a "I've left 37 messages and I'm losing it" one.