You may recognize him from MTV's Real World — housemate Chris Beckman has been through a lot in his 24 years. He is gay and has finally become comfortable with his sexuality. He also battled with alcoholism, but has been sober for over a year. Now he's a TV star, a model, and an artist. Here he shares the highs and lows of his life so far.
How does it feel watching yourself on TV?
It's strange. I think they've portrayed me in a very good light so far — but I don't know what stuff they'll use in the future. We get to see each episode the same time you do, when it airs on MTV. I trust their judgment — everything they show relates to the message they're giving out, and of course they're going to focus in on the drama. As far as I'm concerned, I did the show, I lived it, and now they have to choose the eight or so hours of material.
Who do you think the show has been most unfair to?
Tonya has come off pretty bad. It's been accurate, but as the show progresses, you'll understand what she was living with — I hope you see it.
Did it concern you to be coming out on national TV like that?
I didn't take it into consideration. It was just about meeting six other, hopefully cool people. I'm me. I knew I'd provide my experiences and mix in well. It's all about diversity and blend. Everyone that matters knew I was gay before they saw the show and still loved and supported me.
Since the show aired you have become a role model for gay teens. How does that make you feel?
It's weird to be seen as a role model. I don't like to categorize myself, but if people can learn from my experiences and not make the same mistakes as me, that's great. I carried this huge internalized homophobia, I had religious issues about being gay, I was worried what my friends would think, and I was miserable. It's good to know that a lot of people have these struggles.
Tell us more about your art.
Right now I attend art college. I've taken a few semesters off, but I'm doing a business degree with a minor in fine arts. I love to paint, but I haven't been to the studio since last July. I'm an abstract painter; I take images from nature; I look at textures and elements like the sun and earth. I sell my work and have a website (www.chrisbeckman.com) with online exhibits, although since Real World it's turned more into a fan site. I did a few gallery showings before I was on the show, but since then, there are even more people interested in my work. We're trying to negotiate the best way to reach those people. I'm torn between selling the originals and getting prints done.
Do you still live in Chicago?
I'm living in New York right now, but I still have an apartment in Chicago. I recently signed to Wilhemina (a model agency). I had been approached by agencies before, when I was 19, but I'd lost sight of my ambitions — I was too busy partying. I'm glad I got it out of my system. I had my first modeling job the other day — I was on the cover of Out [a gay magazine]. I've never even seen the issue, though — it sold out. It was incredible. I'm truly amazed to see myself on a magazine. It was much bigger than being on TV.
How has your life changed since you did Real World?
This past year has been one of the best of my life. I take each day as it comes and pray that this will be a year of sobriety. I remember having days when I thought my whole world would collide, but now my paintings are being represented in a few cities, I'm taking acting classes in New York, and I'm modeling.
What are the other people from the house doing now?
Cara is in L.A., Kyle is out there, too — he wants to get into acting; he has an agent. I don't really speak to the others, although we all went out to L.A. together recently, which was fun.
